this will be my first post. i dont know if i will ever write anything again or if it will become a habit to write stuff down but we will see in the future. my life has sucked ever since i started school but when we found out that my dad had thyroid cancer everything went from bad to life altering. ugg i did not know how to react. after his surgery i broke down. right now he is doing better. he just had his first check up after surgery and he did good. i was so happy. i havent seen him since the surgery. i know that he has a large scar on his neck i just havent seen it since. i know his voice is different i just havent heard it unless i talk to him on the phone. it sort of seems unreal. i sort of bury it inside of me. what to do what to do. during his surgary it took about 14 hours. the wait was killer. we did not know what would happen. he may of lost both vocal cords instead of the one he did lose. he could of died on the examination table. he could of had to breath from a tube the rest of his life. but he does not. im glad he believes in god because i dont and that makes me afraid of death. its good to think that there is somewhere to go after death but in a girl of science if you cant prove it to me i wont believe. well i will get to see him at x-mass. he has another surgery in august for a metal plate that will help relive the stress on his one vocal cord. i hope it goes well.